i'm a goat

Here at the farm we just welcomed our first set of goat triplets. They are cute little things, little balls of fluffy fur. Trey loves them. He wants to get in the pen to play with them but their mama (Black Betty) isn't quit ready for that. She is not the most loving of goats. She had twins last spring and rejected one which we bottle fed. (that is Trey's beloved Cindy Lou) So far, Betty is caring for all three of her little ones this time. I am thankful for that. I don't need any other babies to care for right now.
Something occurred to me the other day while I was out looking at the new babies, it made me sad. Betty's older kid, Inky, was in the pen with her. Inky was hanging out, not to close to her mom and the new babies but nearby. The rest of the herd was meandering around doing goat things but not Inky. She just stayed in the pen with her mom. She kind of acted like she wanted to go with the herd but yet she wanted to stay with her mom too. It was like she sensed she didn't belong with her mom anymore but she didn't know what to do with herself.
I felt a strange connection with Inky while I watched her pace back and forth. She seemed almost uncomfortable with herself. She was the same goat she'd always been yet now she didn't seem to belong anymore. (I could be giving the goat too much credit but it works with my story)
My point is that sometimes I don't know where I belong anymore. I miss my friends I used to work with but because I don't work with them any more I feel like I've fallen out of the loop. I miss some of my other friends too. But its hard to do the things I used to do with my friends when I have my kids with me. I miss my husband too. He still works long hours alot and when we are home together we spend most of our time herding children then fall asleep from exhaustion. Things feel different now that I'm a full time mommy. Don't take me the wrong way. I love being with my kids. But sometimes I feel like that goat, just standing on the outside looking in not sure which herd I belong to. I know other people probably feel this way too but I just want to find my herd......