The Thing I Have Been Wondering
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It has been a rough year. That is no lie. We have had one challenge after
another, and if this were a dark comedy one would recognize that it has
been fun...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
I do not like hamburgers...
Trey and I have a routine of always reading a story (or two or three) before nap time and bed time. We have read stories enough that he knows the names of most of them. But from time to time we'll read new stories or he just can't remember a title so he will give me a brief description of the story he wants to hear so that I can find that book.
We were standing in front of the bookshelf and I asked him what he wanted to read. He mumbled something about hamburgers. (he was in a mumbly, whiny kind of mood) I told him we didn't have any books about hamburgers. But he said " I don't like hamburgers". "I know you don't like hamburgers" I answered. "Pick out a book."
Again Trey says "I don't like hamburgers!" He's pointing towards the bookshelf but I think he is just stalling, not wanting to take a nap. "Trey!" I said more sternly, "Pick out a book to read or we will go to bed without a story today!"
He inches closer to the book shelf and stands on his tip toes still half-heartedly pointing towards a book. "I DO NOT LIKE HAMBURGERS!!!!" he says using his deep, monster voice. I am getting aggravated with him now. I am sure he knows that we don't have a book about hamburgers, he is just testing me. But he does seem to be trying to reach a particular book so I move closer to try to see which book he is pointing to. He also is getting frustrated with me and is hopping a little to try to be able to grab the book. "I DO NOT LIKE GREEN HAMBURGERS!" he says again very firmly.
Finally it clicked and I laughed as I pulled the book off of the shelf. It was a new book. We had read it for the first time the day before. "Ohhhh, I see." I said, still laughing. "You want to read Green Eggs and Ham". I held the Dr. Suess book out for Trey to see. "Yeah." Trey says quickly, "Green Eggs and Hamburgers". He looks at me kind of silly like he was saying "Gee Mom, I've been trying to tell you this for the past five minutes. What took you so long to figure that out?!?"
We were standing in front of the bookshelf and I asked him what he wanted to read. He mumbled something about hamburgers. (he was in a mumbly, whiny kind of mood) I told him we didn't have any books about hamburgers. But he said " I don't like hamburgers". "I know you don't like hamburgers" I answered. "Pick out a book."
Again Trey says "I don't like hamburgers!" He's pointing towards the bookshelf but I think he is just stalling, not wanting to take a nap. "Trey!" I said more sternly, "Pick out a book to read or we will go to bed without a story today!"
He inches closer to the book shelf and stands on his tip toes still half-heartedly pointing towards a book. "I DO NOT LIKE HAMBURGERS!!!!" he says using his deep, monster voice. I am getting aggravated with him now. I am sure he knows that we don't have a book about hamburgers, he is just testing me. But he does seem to be trying to reach a particular book so I move closer to try to see which book he is pointing to. He also is getting frustrated with me and is hopping a little to try to be able to grab the book. "I DO NOT LIKE GREEN HAMBURGERS!" he says again very firmly.
Finally it clicked and I laughed as I pulled the book off of the shelf. It was a new book. We had read it for the first time the day before. "Ohhhh, I see." I said, still laughing. "You want to read Green Eggs and Ham". I held the Dr. Suess book out for Trey to see. "Yeah." Trey says quickly, "Green Eggs and Hamburgers". He looks at me kind of silly like he was saying "Gee Mom, I've been trying to tell you this for the past five minutes. What took you so long to figure that out?!?"
Helpping Mommy
Trey and I did get to go out in the snow. We have quite a bit of the white stuff! It was a very dry snow though and not good for snowman building. Trey didn't seem to mind too much. He had a wonderful time running in the snow, jumping in the snow, throwing the snow......
I got Trey all bundled up and set him free outside. Kayelynn was tucked in for her morning nap. So, I set in to clean my car off. It was covered in snow and under that, ice. I managed to get one of the doors open so I could climb in and get it started. I waited for awhile for things to start melting but it was a pretty slow process. I decided I was going to have to remove some of the ice by hand. I started in scratching at it with my scraper, picking at at it with my hands, and finally banging on it with my fists. I must have been quite a site because I had gotten Trey's attention. I looked down and there he was looking at me with wide eyes. "I'm not sure if Mommy can do this" I said to him. He took on a very thoughtful look.
Now for this story to make sense you must have a background in the cartoon Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I understand if this is not a commonly watched show by some of you but its a hit with the small people at my house (yes, even Kayelynn will watch a little). In this cartoon Mickey and his friends are usually on some sort of adventure and encounter different problems they must solve. When they run in to these troublesome situations they stop and call for Toodles. Toodles comes flying in and has different types of mousekatools to choose from to help solve the problem. Then all is well and Mickey and his friends live happily ever after.
Now, where were we....oh yes, Trey was looking at me with his big eyes and being thoughtful. When he gets these thoughtful looks I can almost see the wheels turning in his head. I'm sure you have guessed the punchline here. Trey takes a big breath, and at the top of his lungs calls out "Ohhhh Tooooodles!!!!!" I thought it was sweet (and kind of clever) that he thought his cartoon friend might be able to help me de-ice my car. : )
I got Trey all bundled up and set him free outside. Kayelynn was tucked in for her morning nap. So, I set in to clean my car off. It was covered in snow and under that, ice. I managed to get one of the doors open so I could climb in and get it started. I waited for awhile for things to start melting but it was a pretty slow process. I decided I was going to have to remove some of the ice by hand. I started in scratching at it with my scraper, picking at at it with my hands, and finally banging on it with my fists. I must have been quite a site because I had gotten Trey's attention. I looked down and there he was looking at me with wide eyes. "I'm not sure if Mommy can do this" I said to him. He took on a very thoughtful look.
Now for this story to make sense you must have a background in the cartoon Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I understand if this is not a commonly watched show by some of you but its a hit with the small people at my house (yes, even Kayelynn will watch a little). In this cartoon Mickey and his friends are usually on some sort of adventure and encounter different problems they must solve. When they run in to these troublesome situations they stop and call for Toodles. Toodles comes flying in and has different types of mousekatools to choose from to help solve the problem. Then all is well and Mickey and his friends live happily ever after.
Now, where were we....oh yes, Trey was looking at me with his big eyes and being thoughtful. When he gets these thoughtful looks I can almost see the wheels turning in his head. I'm sure you have guessed the punchline here. Trey takes a big breath, and at the top of his lungs calls out "Ohhhh Tooooodles!!!!!" I thought it was sweet (and kind of clever) that he thought his cartoon friend might be able to help me de-ice my car. : )
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Let it snow
Snow is in the forecast for my neck of the woods. It has been forecasted that we could get 6-8 inches over the next day or two. You never know for sure if the weathermen are going to be right, so I didn't say anything to Trey about the snow. The poor boy has wanted to build a snowman since October and starts getting excited whenever he sees as much as one flake in the air.
As I was putting him to bed the first flakes started falling. He got so excited. He was saying, "its snowing! Its snowing! Christmas time is here! We must get our tree out of storage! I'm going to get lots and lots of presents! Santa is coming! Santa is coming!"
Well, I had to laugh as he bounced around his room. I tried to explain that it was not Christmas, just winter time. His spirits were only dampened for a minute. Talk of snowman building made his little eyes shine. That look, the wonder of Christmas, came. a little late this year but was worth waiting for.
So, I say, "I've got no place to go. Let it snow! "Let it snow! Let it snow!".
I'm going to build a snowman today!
As I was putting him to bed the first flakes started falling. He got so excited. He was saying, "its snowing! Its snowing! Christmas time is here! We must get our tree out of storage! I'm going to get lots and lots of presents! Santa is coming! Santa is coming!"
Well, I had to laugh as he bounced around his room. I tried to explain that it was not Christmas, just winter time. His spirits were only dampened for a minute. Talk of snowman building made his little eyes shine. That look, the wonder of Christmas, came. a little late this year but was worth waiting for.
So, I say, "I've got no place to go. Let it snow! "Let it snow! Let it snow!".
I'm going to build a snowman today!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Ring phone....ring
Staying home with the kids was not the only reason that I decided to quit my job. The second reason was to help my husband with his new independent practice.
Rex is a doctor. He is board certified in family practice. He works with the resident program at Deaconess Hospital a day or two a week and also works at the ER in Vincennes about 3 days/week. He has a dream of being that local, hometown doc from long ago who cares for people in the community. He wants to do housecalls for people and eventually have a small office here on the farm or nearby for people to come to. So, we have started Stroud Medical, a fee for service practice.
We have gotten some medical files; nice official looking charts. We have made custom receipts, business cards and flyers. We have our own fax machine, this lovely lap top and portable printer. We have supplies: sutures, gauze, lab drawing supplies, urine kits, you name it we have it. Its all stacked neatly in some boxes sitting in our office room at home. We even had a separate phone line put in for Stroud Medical. I was going to hook up an old phone we had laying around the house but Rex came home the other day, proud as a peacock, with a little black office type phone. It is more than what we need at the moment but he was so proud to have it that I went and hooked it up. And there it sits, on his old desk, in our office, in our house. When I'm in that room, sometimes I will sit and stare at it, like I am willing it to ring. Sometimes I'll pick it up and punch the buttons on it, not entirely sure what I'm doing. Then I may put it up to my ear and kind of hold it up using my shoulder so my hands are free. I'll reach across the desk for a pad of paper and doodle alittle, just getting the feel of the phone, imagining what it will be like to schedule my first appointment or triage my first patient over the phone. Somedays I'll just walk thru the room and lightly run my fingers over the phone, caressing it, as if that might persuade it to ring. I know people would laugh at this little obsession I have with the phone but I can't help it. This phone is a direct link to a little dream that my husband and I are hanging on to, nurturing, encouraging it to grow.
We have had one patient so far. It was a house call around Christmas time. That was exciting. We are trying to spread the news around the community. It is a slow process. We knew it would be when we started.
Some days, Rex will call me from work just to remind me to check and see if we have any messages. There are messages sometimes. The printing company called to say our business envelopes were ready. We get some hang ups and the occassional sales person. One day I almost killed myself running from the kitchen sink, over the laundry basket in the hall, and around some toy trains to try to get to the phone as it was ringing. I caught my breath and in the most pleasant, professional voice I had I answered, "Stroud Medical, can I...". Before I could finish a recording of a sales person kicked on telling me I had been specially chosen to receive a free dvr system. Oh, the disappointment!!!!!! I hung up the phone and almost felt mad at it. Like it had purposely tricked me into running thru the house like a crazy woman to answer it.
But, I can't really be mad at a telephone. That wouldn't do any good. So, I just keep mentally encouraging the phone. "Ring phone, ring".
Rex is a doctor. He is board certified in family practice. He works with the resident program at Deaconess Hospital a day or two a week and also works at the ER in Vincennes about 3 days/week. He has a dream of being that local, hometown doc from long ago who cares for people in the community. He wants to do housecalls for people and eventually have a small office here on the farm or nearby for people to come to. So, we have started Stroud Medical, a fee for service practice.
We have gotten some medical files; nice official looking charts. We have made custom receipts, business cards and flyers. We have our own fax machine, this lovely lap top and portable printer. We have supplies: sutures, gauze, lab drawing supplies, urine kits, you name it we have it. Its all stacked neatly in some boxes sitting in our office room at home. We even had a separate phone line put in for Stroud Medical. I was going to hook up an old phone we had laying around the house but Rex came home the other day, proud as a peacock, with a little black office type phone. It is more than what we need at the moment but he was so proud to have it that I went and hooked it up. And there it sits, on his old desk, in our office, in our house. When I'm in that room, sometimes I will sit and stare at it, like I am willing it to ring. Sometimes I'll pick it up and punch the buttons on it, not entirely sure what I'm doing. Then I may put it up to my ear and kind of hold it up using my shoulder so my hands are free. I'll reach across the desk for a pad of paper and doodle alittle, just getting the feel of the phone, imagining what it will be like to schedule my first appointment or triage my first patient over the phone. Somedays I'll just walk thru the room and lightly run my fingers over the phone, caressing it, as if that might persuade it to ring. I know people would laugh at this little obsession I have with the phone but I can't help it. This phone is a direct link to a little dream that my husband and I are hanging on to, nurturing, encouraging it to grow.
We have had one patient so far. It was a house call around Christmas time. That was exciting. We are trying to spread the news around the community. It is a slow process. We knew it would be when we started.
Some days, Rex will call me from work just to remind me to check and see if we have any messages. There are messages sometimes. The printing company called to say our business envelopes were ready. We get some hang ups and the occassional sales person. One day I almost killed myself running from the kitchen sink, over the laundry basket in the hall, and around some toy trains to try to get to the phone as it was ringing. I caught my breath and in the most pleasant, professional voice I had I answered, "Stroud Medical, can I...". Before I could finish a recording of a sales person kicked on telling me I had been specially chosen to receive a free dvr system. Oh, the disappointment!!!!!! I hung up the phone and almost felt mad at it. Like it had purposely tricked me into running thru the house like a crazy woman to answer it.
But, I can't really be mad at a telephone. That wouldn't do any good. So, I just keep mentally encouraging the phone. "Ring phone, ring".
Monday, January 19, 2009
My New Toy
I splurged just a little when I went to upgrade my cell phone. I am now the proud owner of a Blackberry Curve. It is awesome! It does everything I want and probably a lot more stuff I haven't even discovered yet. Best of all it always has a good signal which is unheard of when you live in a hole way out in the country. Just thought I'd share about my new toy in case anyone out there is in the market for a new phone.
melt my heart
It was a typical bath time. There were bubbles, toys and splashing. I was feeling kind of tired, as I usually am by the time bath time rolls around. Trey was trying to engage me in the "boy or girl" conversation. This is like a game to him. Trey will think of people we know (cousins, aunts, uncles, people from church, the lady at the bank...). He names them and then wants me to say if they are a boy or girl. He knows the answers already but gets a strange charge out of asking me. He also likes me to give the wrong answer so he can say,"Noooo...that's silly Mommy". If I go too long without giving a wrong answer,then he will suggest that Daddy is a girl or Grandma is a boy.
Anyway,Kayelynn was crying in the other room, I was thinking about the dishes Ineeded to do and making a mental to do list for tomorrow. Caring for the kids gets routine sometimes almost mechanical...left leg in, right leg in, pull up the jammie pants, left arm, right arm... Suddenly, Trey threw his arms around my neck and gave me the biggest bear hug a 3 year old can give. Then he pulled back to look at me with those big, sweet eyes of his. His arms were still looped around my neck loosely and he leaned his head in towards mine until our noses were almost touching. "Mommy, you my bess free-end" he said. All my distractions faded away. As I looked at my little boy my heart melted. It was plain to see that I was the center of his universe. It occurred to me that in a few years there won't be a chance that I'll ever hear that phrase again from him. I stopped what I was doing just to savor the moment and it was a wonderful moment! I hope to keep that moment with me forever. I love my new job, my mommy job. It is rewarding in ways no other job can be.
Anyway,Kayelynn was crying in the other room, I was thinking about the dishes Ineeded to do and making a mental to do list for tomorrow. Caring for the kids gets routine sometimes almost mechanical...left leg in, right leg in, pull up the jammie pants, left arm, right arm... Suddenly, Trey threw his arms around my neck and gave me the biggest bear hug a 3 year old can give. Then he pulled back to look at me with those big, sweet eyes of his. His arms were still looped around my neck loosely and he leaned his head in towards mine until our noses were almost touching. "Mommy, you my bess free-end" he said. All my distractions faded away. As I looked at my little boy my heart melted. It was plain to see that I was the center of his universe. It occurred to me that in a few years there won't be a chance that I'll ever hear that phrase again from him. I stopped what I was doing just to savor the moment and it was a wonderful moment! I hope to keep that moment with me forever. I love my new job, my mommy job. It is rewarding in ways no other job can be.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A tale of a cat's tail
Let me preface this story by saying I have had many pets over the years and each one seems to come with its own story, usually a tragic one.....
So, I have a little black and white cat named Poco. She is about a year old. (Dollie if you're reading, this is your baby) She lives outside which is where the trouble begins. A few weeks ago we noticed that Poco had been gone for a day which is unusual because she doesn't stray far from the house. She did turn up; I noticed the next day while I was doing errands. I didn't think much of it until I was feeding her the next day. I noticed then that she wasn't putting any weight on one of her back legs. On further inspection I saw she had a huge gash on her leg near the joint. It was so bad I could see muscle and bone. (that reminds me, if you have a weak stomach stop reading this right now) Her tail was also matted and hung kind of funny so I figured it was broken. Did you know a cat could have a broken tail?
Well, I worried about her. Should I take her to the vet or not? I had Rex look at her when he got home. We decided to keep watching her and see how she did. I have a history of running up huge vet bills and now that I'm not working we decided that wasn't a good idea. To both of our surprise she did just fine. Her leg healed up and she started using it more and more.
This is probably a good point to interject that the cat lives in our window well. As a lot of you know, our house is built into the ground. It is a basement that we will build on to later. Because of that we have a few deep window wells. The cat took refuge in our living room window. I gave it food and water and cleaned its poo for weeks thru my living room window. So needless to say I was thrilled the day she jumped out to join the outside world.But, she came back. With the cold snap we had, it was warmer to sleep in the window. But that's okay. Its like having an indoor cat with less mess.
One evening, Rex was coming in from work and I went to the door to meet him. He was looking at something I couldn't see and started laughing. Not just a chuckle but a big deep laugh. Here is how the conversation went from there.
Me: What's so funny?
Rex: The cat.
Me: Poco?
Rex: Yeah
Me: What's so funny about her?
Rex: Her tail.
Me: What about her tail?
Rex: It fell off.
Me: What!!!!
Rex: It...fell....off.
Me: Are you sure.
Rex: Umm, yeah. It fell off.
Me: That's weird.
Rex: It's weird alright!
(See, I told you not to read this if you had a weak stomach.)
Well, don't worry. She is still fine. I mean fine like half of her tail was in my window well while she wasn't, but fine. It is gross though. She lost about half of her tail so she doesn't look like a bobcat or anything like that. But, right now the end of her tail is pretty gross. She wags it around and doesn't seem like it bothers her at all. But, if anyone came to my house they would think we abuse animals. There she is in my window wagging her little stump of a tail. But when I look at her it makes me think of one of those really gory war movies where you see the soldiers get wounded and they lay on the ground waving their bloody amputated limbs around. That's my cat. I'm hoping she'll grow some fur on her tail soon.
We're wondering how many lives she burned on this injury. At least she's okay. Its hard to be a farm cat. So, when you are having a really bad day. Just remember, it could be worse. You could be my cat.
So, I have a little black and white cat named Poco. She is about a year old. (Dollie if you're reading, this is your baby) She lives outside which is where the trouble begins. A few weeks ago we noticed that Poco had been gone for a day which is unusual because she doesn't stray far from the house. She did turn up; I noticed the next day while I was doing errands. I didn't think much of it until I was feeding her the next day. I noticed then that she wasn't putting any weight on one of her back legs. On further inspection I saw she had a huge gash on her leg near the joint. It was so bad I could see muscle and bone. (that reminds me, if you have a weak stomach stop reading this right now) Her tail was also matted and hung kind of funny so I figured it was broken. Did you know a cat could have a broken tail?
Well, I worried about her. Should I take her to the vet or not? I had Rex look at her when he got home. We decided to keep watching her and see how she did. I have a history of running up huge vet bills and now that I'm not working we decided that wasn't a good idea. To both of our surprise she did just fine. Her leg healed up and she started using it more and more.
This is probably a good point to interject that the cat lives in our window well. As a lot of you know, our house is built into the ground. It is a basement that we will build on to later. Because of that we have a few deep window wells. The cat took refuge in our living room window. I gave it food and water and cleaned its poo for weeks thru my living room window. So needless to say I was thrilled the day she jumped out to join the outside world.But, she came back. With the cold snap we had, it was warmer to sleep in the window. But that's okay. Its like having an indoor cat with less mess.
One evening, Rex was coming in from work and I went to the door to meet him. He was looking at something I couldn't see and started laughing. Not just a chuckle but a big deep laugh. Here is how the conversation went from there.
Me: What's so funny?
Rex: The cat.
Me: Poco?
Rex: Yeah
Me: What's so funny about her?
Rex: Her tail.
Me: What about her tail?
Rex: It fell off.
Me: What!!!!
Rex: It...fell....off.
Me: Are you sure.
Rex: Umm, yeah. It fell off.
Me: That's weird.
Rex: It's weird alright!
(See, I told you not to read this if you had a weak stomach.)
Well, don't worry. She is still fine. I mean fine like half of her tail was in my window well while she wasn't, but fine. It is gross though. She lost about half of her tail so she doesn't look like a bobcat or anything like that. But, right now the end of her tail is pretty gross. She wags it around and doesn't seem like it bothers her at all. But, if anyone came to my house they would think we abuse animals. There she is in my window wagging her little stump of a tail. But when I look at her it makes me think of one of those really gory war movies where you see the soldiers get wounded and they lay on the ground waving their bloody amputated limbs around. That's my cat. I'm hoping she'll grow some fur on her tail soon.
We're wondering how many lives she burned on this injury. At least she's okay. Its hard to be a farm cat. So, when you are having a really bad day. Just remember, it could be worse. You could be my cat.
Better Late Than Never... some of my favorite Christmas pics
My little man looking spiffy for church.
We were so into watching Trey open his gifts we didn't notice the baby being burried in wrapping paper.
Somebody was a good boy this year.
Kayelynn didn't know what to think of all the excitement.
Silent night.Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Masterpiece
We had our precious baby dedicated to the Lord on Sunday. My mom sang the song "Masterpiece" by Sandy Patti. I thought the song was so perfect that I wanted to add it here for everyone to see. I think my new mommy and mommy to be friends will be able to appreciate this. I hope everyone will.
Masterpiece
Spoken: You made my whole being. You formed me in my mothers' body. You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mothers' body. When I was put together there You saw my body as it was formed. I praise You because You made me in an amazing way.
Verse: Before you had a name or opened up your eyes,
Or any one could recognize your face,
You were being formed so delicate in size,
Secluded in God's safe and hidden place.
With your little tiny hands, and little
Tiny feet, and little eyes that shimmer like a pearl.
He breathed in you a song and to make it all complete
He brought the masterpiece into the world.
Chorus: You are a masterpiece,
A new creation He has formed.
And you're as soft and fresh
As a snowy, winter morn.
And I'm so glad that God has given you to me.
Little lamb of God, you are a masterpiece.
Verse: And now you're growing up, your life's a miracle.
Every time I look at you I stand in awe.
Because I see in you a reflection of me
And you'll always be my little lamb from God.
And as your life goes on each day
How I pray that you will see
Just how much your life has meant to me.
And I'm so proud of you.
What else is there to say?
Just be the masterpiece He created you to be.
Repeat Chorus
You are a masterpiece.
Spoken: All the days planned for me were written in Your book
before I was even one day old. What You have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.
i'm a goat---part 2
Thank you girls at work for talking to me during my sleepless night last night. It helped me realize something.....I didn't watch my goat long enough the other day. If I would have paid more attention I would have seen that she did go and run with her new herd but when she wanted to, she returned to her mother and her mother still accepted her. It feels good to be accepted.
Monday, January 12, 2009
i'm a goat
Here at the farm we just welcomed our first set of goat triplets. They are cute little things, little balls of fluffy fur. Trey loves them. He wants to get in the pen to play with them but their mama (Black Betty) isn't quit ready for that. She is not the most loving of goats. She had twins last spring and rejected one which we bottle fed. (that is Trey's beloved Cindy Lou) So far, Betty is caring for all three of her little ones this time. I am thankful for that. I don't need any other babies to care for right now.
Something occurred to me the other day while I was out looking at the new babies, it made me sad. Betty's older kid, Inky, was in the pen with her. Inky was hanging out, not to close to her mom and the new babies but nearby. The rest of the herd was meandering around doing goat things but not Inky. She just stayed in the pen with her mom. She kind of acted like she wanted to go with the herd but yet she wanted to stay with her mom too. It was like she sensed she didn't belong with her mom anymore but she didn't know what to do with herself.
I felt a strange connection with Inky while I watched her pace back and forth. She seemed almost uncomfortable with herself. She was the same goat she'd always been yet now she didn't seem to belong anymore. (I could be giving the goat too much credit but it works with my story)
My point is that sometimes I don't know where I belong anymore. I miss my friends I used to work with but because I don't work with them any more I feel like I've fallen out of the loop. I miss some of my other friends too. But its hard to do the things I used to do with my friends when I have my kids with me. I miss my husband too. He still works long hours alot and when we are home together we spend most of our time herding children then fall asleep from exhaustion. Things feel different now that I'm a full time mommy. Don't take me the wrong way. I love being with my kids. But sometimes I feel like that goat, just standing on the outside looking in not sure which herd I belong to. I know other people probably feel this way too but I just want to find my herd......
Something occurred to me the other day while I was out looking at the new babies, it made me sad. Betty's older kid, Inky, was in the pen with her. Inky was hanging out, not to close to her mom and the new babies but nearby. The rest of the herd was meandering around doing goat things but not Inky. She just stayed in the pen with her mom. She kind of acted like she wanted to go with the herd but yet she wanted to stay with her mom too. It was like she sensed she didn't belong with her mom anymore but she didn't know what to do with herself.
I felt a strange connection with Inky while I watched her pace back and forth. She seemed almost uncomfortable with herself. She was the same goat she'd always been yet now she didn't seem to belong anymore. (I could be giving the goat too much credit but it works with my story)
My point is that sometimes I don't know where I belong anymore. I miss my friends I used to work with but because I don't work with them any more I feel like I've fallen out of the loop. I miss some of my other friends too. But its hard to do the things I used to do with my friends when I have my kids with me. I miss my husband too. He still works long hours alot and when we are home together we spend most of our time herding children then fall asleep from exhaustion. Things feel different now that I'm a full time mommy. Don't take me the wrong way. I love being with my kids. But sometimes I feel like that goat, just standing on the outside looking in not sure which herd I belong to. I know other people probably feel this way too but I just want to find my herd......
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Toddlers are amazing (when they are not being annoying). Trey is really developing an imagination. The other day he was running thru the house pretending to be a super hero. He was saying things like "to the rescue!" and "I'll safe ewe!" (that translates to I'll save you in Trey talk). Kayelynn had quite the dirty diaper and Trey felt he needed to assist me defeat the pile of poo. In the middle of the diaper change, Trey looks at me with his very thoughtful look and he says "Mommy....sister has super phew wee poopy power". I had to agree. : )
Saturday, January 3, 2009
To My Mom
Mom,
I have always loved you and admired you. But just a few moments ago, as I wiped Trey's poopy butt and then cleaned out his little potty chair, I loved you and admired you just a little more. Thank you mom for all you do for me now. But, thank you also for all those things you did for me way back when that I never said thank you for.
I have always loved you and admired you. But just a few moments ago, as I wiped Trey's poopy butt and then cleaned out his little potty chair, I loved you and admired you just a little more. Thank you mom for all you do for me now. But, thank you also for all those things you did for me way back when that I never said thank you for.
Wow, Holidays...
Well, Christmas has come and gone and so has the new year. For me it is all a big blur. I understand now why my mom always seemed so worn out after the holidays.
Our holiday fun started the day before Christmas Eve. Trey had not pooped for 14 days so we consulted our doctor who suggested we take him in for an xray to make sure there were no blockages. As we were walking out the door to the hospital, he chooses then to poop his pants. We took him for the xray anyway and all was well. We have had to start a very methodical potty routine but things are starting to get better.
We had four Christmases between my family and Rex's, five if you count when Santa came to our house. I wasn't sure if Santa would come to our house this year because Trey would not put out milk and cookies for him. I tried to explain that this is what Santa expected but Trey wanted to eat Santa's cookies and then he informed me that Santa did not like milk. Oh well, maybe next year.
We(me and the kids) spent the New Year alone, Rex had to work at the ER the 31st and 1st. So, that was not alot of fun but there's really not much we could have done with the kids. I could tell other stories but it will have to wait because Trey is tearing the house down around me as I type this. I hope everyone had happy holidays and feels optimistic for the new year. I know I'm trying to be.
Our holiday fun started the day before Christmas Eve. Trey had not pooped for 14 days so we consulted our doctor who suggested we take him in for an xray to make sure there were no blockages. As we were walking out the door to the hospital, he chooses then to poop his pants. We took him for the xray anyway and all was well. We have had to start a very methodical potty routine but things are starting to get better.
We had four Christmases between my family and Rex's, five if you count when Santa came to our house. I wasn't sure if Santa would come to our house this year because Trey would not put out milk and cookies for him. I tried to explain that this is what Santa expected but Trey wanted to eat Santa's cookies and then he informed me that Santa did not like milk. Oh well, maybe next year.
We(me and the kids) spent the New Year alone, Rex had to work at the ER the 31st and 1st. So, that was not alot of fun but there's really not much we could have done with the kids. I could tell other stories but it will have to wait because Trey is tearing the house down around me as I type this. I hope everyone had happy holidays and feels optimistic for the new year. I know I'm trying to be.
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